Here Comes the Flood

WTWS ScientistScientists at the World’s Tallest Water Sphere Research Center in Austin, Texas have determined the extent of damage possible to the World’s Tallest Water Sphere in the event of massive flooding. As many people know, the level of the oceans is rising due to global warming and the melting of polar ice caps. As the ice caps melt, the coast recedes, the shore advances, and what was once land becomes submerged. Pretty soon the Watchung Mountains become prime beachfront property. Using NASA satellite data and Firetree Google Maps, one can analyze the effect.

WTWS Flood
The animated map to the right shows the extent of flooding that might damage the World’s Tallest Water Sphere. (Turn on browser images and animation to see the horrible consequences). To the left of the photo lies Kawameeh Park, site of the WTWS. To the center, lies Kean University, home of the Cougars (and they ain’t talking about cats, baby, yeah!) To the right lies Newark Liberty Airport.

At 3 meters rise, most of the Newark Ironbound district and the airport is under water, signified by the blue shading to the right. At 6 meters, sea water has covered Weequahic Park and starts to enter downtown Elizabeth. Route 22 and 78 and the New Jersey Turnpike by the airport is open to boat traffic. At 9 meters Elizabeth goes under, and Kawameeh swamp floods into a lake. At 12 meters and then 14 meters, Kean University becomes beach front property. Thankfully, the World’s Tallest Water Sphere appears to be safe at this level. Union residents will likely have an uninterrupted supply of clean drinking water, and toilets will continue to flush all but the biggest piles of excrement.

While we are talking scientifically here, the next research project for the World’s Tallest Water Sphere Research Center is why New Jerseyans say the Jersey Shore rather than the Jersey Coast. As any sea dog knows, the shore is the landward limit of the sea, and the coast is the seaward limit of the land. Unless most Jerseyans are expressing their love for the ocean and that strip of beach that exists between high and low tide (you know, the part that gets all the seaweed, sand dollars, and prehistoric horseshoe crabs), the New Jersey part with all the boardwalks, casinos, rides, games, beer and pizza would be the Jersey coast.

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